14. Coping with Controversy and Growing through Conflict

It is much easier trying to think what goes on in conflict when you are not right in the middle of something. Most of us get into conflict situations from time to time and try to learn to handle them better as life goes on. There is plenty of material in the Bible about conflict, including Jesus' example and his teaching. Whatever its failings, Presbyterianism does seek to provide constructive ways by which Christians in the one church can air their different visions for the Kingdom and make responsible decisions about worshiping and working together.

If we are not good at conflict then there are skills which can help us see disagreement as part of life, and strategies which make it possible to deal with it more rather than less constructively.

Conflict brings out the best as well as the worst in people. However how folk behave under pressure often tells us less than it should about the justice of their cause. Groups in conflict quickly feed off the human failings of the other more than the merits of the case.

The peace of Christ is a ministry of the Holy Spirit that does not so much take us out of these places of difference and disagreement as give us grace to see God in unexpected people and places. God is always blessing people I disagree with!

There are always going to be some issues and personalities which make conflict resolution difficult, but there is little doubt that the skills of churches and leaders in handling quite serious differences can be improved to everyone’s benefit.

The website for this unit is  http://roxborogh.com/REFORMED/conflict.htm  I should perhaps explain a little about some of the links.

1)       The Conflict Resolution Network in Australia has material available on-line.

2)       Mendels’ tips provide a fairly non-threatening and simple framework which is practical and could be the basis of parish discussion.

3)       The Plowshares Institute have run some excellent seminars in New Zealand. Bob and Alice Evans are Presbyterian ministers and good presenters of case studies.

4)       The two issues of the PCUSA Journal of Presbyterian History were included because of their relevance to the homosexual ordination debate and questions raised by it about how Presbyterians do conflict. 

We are not doing the homosexual ordination debate here, but there are questions of how we handle conflict which arise out of that and other debates, and it may be helpful to discuss some of those issues of process.  God may have things to say to us about relationships and process and not just whoever's understanding may be proven the more Christian in the long run.

Discussion question

When there is disagreement in your congregation how do you seek to resolve it?

How important are matters of process (clarifying the issue, deciding who has authority to decide, discussion, motions, debate, decision) and matters of theology (bible, understanding of God, Christian values and ethics) and discernment (prayer, listening for the Spirit)

John

John Roxborogh